Postmaster

Dear UPS, Fed-Ex, USPS and DHL:

If you could kindly leave any and all packages at the front door (as opposed to the garage door, to avoid backing over a delivery of chocolate chip cookies from Mrs. Fields), we would certainly appreciate it. Also, we do have the modern convenience of a doorbell, feel free to use it, so that we may receive our packages in a timely manner (as opposed to dropping the package at our door without notification of its arrival.) Last, please do not try to wedge our super-sized deliveries into our tiny mailbox, as it is still recovering from the last delivery, which we needed a crowbar to remove our fragile package.

With Regards,

Christina

PS - We are able to water our lawn again, as we recently fixed the sprinkler you plowed over last spring. Cheers!

Idea for a TV Show

So I have this idea for a TV show. The story revolves around a pre-pubescent Latina girl and a monkey. The girl would wear the same ill-fitting outfit almost every day, and would spend most of each episode consulting the monkey for advice on what to do.

What do you think so far? Wait, there's more....

The young girl is obsessed with a fox who keeps stealing mostly worthless items from her. She and the monkey wind up wasting hours of their lives on quests to find the items.

Great stuff, right? Here's the best part:

The young girl and monkey are almost always left unsupervised and outdoors; her parents not only appear to be completely unconcerned, but occasionally appear only to encourage her to go away. Every time she goes out, she has to navigate dangerous mountains, caves filled with bats, shark-infested waters, and jungles filled with snakes and alligators. Why? Because she thinks her talking map and backpack told her to. Sure, it's a little crazy, but I think kids will love it.

Anyway, off to watch Dora the Explorer videos with Maddie!

Shameless Plug #2

My daughter Maddie recently celebrated her first birthday. Friends and family gathered together, played games, laughed and ate cake, which brings me to my shameless plug of the day - Sweet Melissa's Treats. Cookies, cupcakes and custom cakes are what she does best. Her prices are reasonable, her cakes are very artistic and everything tastes delicious too! Don't think twice, order a tasty treat from Sweet Melissa's for your next celebration!

The Celebrity Spokesperson has gone into Overdrive

It seems lately that every time I turn on the television, another celebrity is shamelessly endorsing another product.

Q. Who does Coppertone, Colgate, Milk, VW, Latisse and Tupperware have in common?

A. Brooke Shields, actress, model and professional celebrity spokesperson

Q. Who does Riders Jeans, Woolite and Pantene have in common?

A. Stacy London, host from What Not To Wear, and professional celebrity spokesperson

Q. Who does Nike, Hanes, Wheaties, McDonald's, Gatorade and MCI have in common?

A. Michael Jordan, former NBA player and professional celebrity spokesperson

The list of commercials that are the most memorable, annoying and forever etched in our brain are endless, but our favorites include: William Shatner as the karate-chopping Priceline negotiator; David Leisure as Joe Isuzu; and Steven, the Dell-dude, with the catch phrase, "Dude, you're getting a Dell."

Smooth Criminal

My friend Meegan (the one on the right) took her brood of 4 kids to the zoo for the ultimate seal lion tour. Read more about it here.

Since the untimely passing of Michael Jackson, Bubbles the chimp has been besides himself. He asked his friend the sea lion, another former residents of Neverland Ranch, to fill the void left by the King of Pop. He decided to do an aquatic rendition of Smooth Criminal. Personally, I would have preferred him do 'Thriller'. Check it out.

Shameless Plug #1

Since this is my soapbox, let me use this opportunity to shamelessly promote, what I believe to be, the best food blog ever, Buffalo Chow. If you eat (this means you) and you live in Buffalo (most likely, this is you as well), you have got to check out this site. It is the ultimate guide to the local food scene, written by the amazingly talented Jeremy Horwitz.

(Also, those of you who don't eat, or live in Buffalo are welcome to check it out as well.)

Our Mascot

Our blog has a mascot and his name is Roman. He could possibly be the laziest dog in the the US, and perhaps, even the world. He is 3'7", 85 pounds and looking for that special someone to bring him his dinner, as opposed to getting up and eating it himself.